5 Months

I cannot believe it has been 5 months today since our sweet girl came into our life and went to heaven all in the same day. Every moment of every day is filled with thoughts of Jillian. It seems like it was so long ago however at the same time it seems just like yesterday we were going to the hospital to have her. It seems like there are more days between the days when I don't cry as much as I did for a while. I still have "bad" days often but am coping fair for the most part. The past few weeks I have been in a bad mood and more angry overall. I'm hoping it's just part of the healing or grief process. Jansen is doing well most of the time also. He did have a moment last week when he was really tired, crying a lot. He told Jack and I he thought our family would be happier if we had Jillian with us. He is so right. He knows the sadness we still experience because we do not get to have her here with us. I have to remind myself God needed her to have a very short life here on this earth for a reason. We may not understand what that reason is for a long time but he knows and he had a purpose that her short life fullfilled here on earth.