To read our story from the beginning click here

Monday, July 26, 2010

Reminders

This is the magnolia tree that we planted in our yard in memory of Jillian. Some sweet friends bought it for us in memory of her life and wanted us to choose where it went. We thought no better place than in our yard where we could see it everyday and think of her every time we look at it!

These pretty pink lily's suddenly bloomed in our back yard this past week. We do not remember planting them anytime and honestly don't know how they got there. The other interesting fact is they bloomed right under Jansen's tree house! I personally think it is another visual reminder for us of Jillian's life! They are a beautiful soft pink color, perfect for our baby girl!


Kyle's Baby Shower

Sunday our church gave my sister Rita a baby shower for her baby boy Kyle. Rita's due date with Kyle is around August 20th and we are getting very excited! Our friend Hannah had the shower at her house and had everything decorated so cute! Kyle's nursey is turquiose, brown, lime green and orange. These cupcakes were adorable, and oh so yummy!



Our Mom, Rita , and myself..... check out the cute door hanger our friend Lisa made for Rita..... it has a place to write his birthdate, time, weight, length, etc on there.

All the gifts before opening!!!!


Me and my sis



Rita taking a pic with the door hanger, which also served as the centerpiece on the table. Notice the big bowl of watermelon also. Everyone knows that Rita has craved watermelon while she has been pregnant and our lovely friends who were hostesses provided this big bowl of watermelon as one of the treats at the shower!!!!
Rita was blessed with a wonderful shower for baby Kyle! We cannot wait to meet him in the next few weeks as he is already loved so, so very much! Our family has been through such a struggle this year with losing Jillian but we know Kyle is going to be a bright spot in all our lives! Aunt Nay is really looking forward to the day when I get to hold this sweet boy in my arms! Love you Kyle (and sis)!!




Thursday, July 22, 2010

Sweet Summertime and Slip n Slide

Yummy Watermelon on a hot summer evening

Jansen and Conner running through the Slip n Slide

J and C posing for a pic while soaking up the cool water


J acting like he was sliding on the Slip n Slide. He really just laid down and wanted me to take his picture!! He or Conner would not actually run and slide, they just played in the water and laid down in the water!



My 2 favorite boys-- my sweet son and my adorable nephew
Today has been soooo hot here in our town! I think it was right at 100 degrees today !! I love summertime but when it is this hot it's not really that much fun unless you are in water. So, this evening after dinner, I hooked up the water hose to the slip n slide and let Jansen and Conner enjoy cooling off! They had a blast together playing in the water! Who doesn't like a cold, red watermelon on a hot summer day too???!!!! We enjoyed the evening with Nana, Pop, Uncle Dan, Aunt Rita and Conner while eating watermelon and trying to keep cool.... Oh how we love summertime at our house!!!!!






Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Picking Peaches

Jansen smiling for the camera

Jansen and Conner stopping together for a quick picture

Jansen pulling the cart (We just let him pull it for fun! We did not get this much to fill a cart!)


I think these were the necterines we picked



This post is a little delayed but just haven't found time to get around to doing it until now. Rita and I took the boys to the peach orchard in our town several weeks ago. We had so much fun picking peaches and necterines...sp??? Why did we chose to go on one of the hottest days of the year I don't know, but we did!!! The boys loved running between the trees and trying to pick some off the trees! We actually made 2 trips on 2 separate weeks. The first trip we picked peaches, the second trip, they were only picking necterines so that is what we got! Fun summertime memories with our sweet boys!

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

A Night at the Ballpark

Last night we went to Little Rock with several friends from church to watch an Arkansas Traveler's baseball game. We had fun, but Jansen definitely had fun with these cute little boys in this picture. These friends are Jack, Owen, Jansen, and Reece. They ran and played catch most of the evening in this grassy area right by our seats.
Me and one of my best friends, Emily. Emily is due to have her first child, Brooks, in October and we are getting excited about meeting her little one!

Jansen with Andy, Emily's husband. Mr. Andy, as we call him. He will be the assistant principal at Jansen's school this year! He caught this foul ball for Jansen right after we sat down in our seats! Thanks Mr. Andy!!!!


Mommy, Daddy,and Jansen after much sweating!!! It got a little hot before the evening was over but much fun was enjoyed by all of us!



My handsome little boy-- maybe you will be a baseball player one day!!





Monday, July 12, 2010

Gulf Shores 2010

Jansen and Conner walking on the beach together

Jillian's name and birthday written in the sand

Family picture time!


Me, Jack, and Jansen at the Hangout



Swimming at the Pool




We love to go to Gulf Shores for our family vacation each year. We have done this every year since Jansen was 1 year old. Our family loves the beach! This year we planned our trip the first week of June so my sis, Rita, and her family could go with us, since she is due to have baby Kyle around August 20th. A couple of other families also went with us. We had a 3 bedroom condo right on the beach and we stayed a whole week. Jansen and Conner had a blast playing in the sand, the ocean, and the pool at the condo. All of us adults had a wonderful time as well. I think I took over 500 pictures the entire week!! Crazy, I know!! We got to Gulf Shores just before the worst part of the Oil Spill made it to shore. We were able to enjoy the beautiful beach and water with only minimal oil evidence. We were so glad we went ahead and went as we had planned! We took the boys to Pensacola, Fl to see the Blue Angels fly one morning and it was amazing! Something we would love to do again, especially with Jansen. We loved our time away relaxing together as a family although we missed Jillian terribly. We think about her daily in everything we do wishing she could be with us.

Flowers for Jillian







We have ordered Jillian's marker for her grave however it has not come in yet. Probably another month or so before we get it. We have been wanting to put some flowers on her grave but I just haven't been able to go buy any yet, a very hard task to think about. Jack went one day and got an arrangement and a vase to put them in that we can stick in the ground until we get her marker. We finally took them to the cemetary last week and Jack and Jansen also watered her grave. The sod was dying so we thought we would water it, Jansen is such a good helper in all kinds of ways and he is so good for us and so good to us right now as we continue to recover from losing Jillian. I miss my sweet girl terribly and I love my boys dearly!

Thursday, July 8, 2010

Sweet Feet and Hands


I got the sweetest surprise gift from my wonderful sister today. She told me a couple days ago she had a gift for me when she saw me again (which is usually everyday!) but today I was at her house and she brought a gift sack to me. She said it was my late mother's day present/just because. I opened it and this was it!!! A plate with Jillian's footprints and Jansen's handprints together with their names and the year 2010. It is something I will treasure forever-- just like the other things I have with Jillian's prints and pictures.

Monday, July 5, 2010

Jillian's Story Part 3 and 4 months

Jansen loving on his sweet sister


Mommy and Jillian

Sweet Jillian


Mommy and Jansen ready to watch Toy Story 3 with uncle Dan and Conner in the background




Daddy and Jansen waiting for the movie to start!



It is amazing to think that 4 months have passed since Jillian came into this world for only a brief while before going to heaven. I think of her all day long everyday and have such an empty feeling in my heart most of the time. We as a family tried to have a good day today by taking Jansen to see Toy Story 3, which he enjoyed! We did have a good time but our sweet girl is never far away in our thoughts.


So now, back to Jillian's story. I left off the last post when we had decided she would be named Jillian Michelle Martin and I was around 31 weeks. My doctor put me on bedrest at 31 weeks due to high blood pressure. We were not sure at this point how long I would make it carrying Jillian, even on bedrest. My blood pressure did ok as long as I was completely doing nothing. Anytime I got up, just to take a shower, it went up. I had a continuous headache also. Wednesday March 3rd my bp went really high, so I called the office and the nurse said for me to go to the hospital and get monitored. We stayed a couple hours, bp going down, however while I was hooked up to the monitor we saw Jillian's heart rate was fluctuating a lot. We found out that she did seem to be struggling at this point. Our dr suggested admitting us then and inducing however we needed just a little longer to process that this was finally time. So on Thursday morning we decided to go in on Friday morning and meet our daughter. I had a c-section since I had also had one with Jansen. Jillian was born at 9:55am Friday March 5, 2010. She did not cry, only a few whimpers. She weighed 3 pounds, 1 ounce and was 16 inches long. My sister was in the delivery room with us and took a lot of pictures for us and the first thing she said was, "she is tiny!" Within 2 minutes our pediatrician placed her in mine and Jacks arms and we fully believe we were holding her as she left this earth. I got to carry her back to our room from the operating room and she never left our arms until we were ready. This is another aspect I want to mention, the nurses and doctors at the hospital were wonderful in every way possible. They let us decide how much time we wanted with Jillian and let us basically be in control I felt like. We we treated better than I could ever have asked for. We got to keep everything we wanted also, including her diaper, bracelets, hats, measuring tape, etc. We got lots and lots of handprints and footprints also on paper, ornaments, and clay molds. Those nurses know who they are but they also will have a special place in our heart always for caring for our daughter the way they did.


Once we got back into the room Jack brought Jansen in to see his sister and he loved her instantly and was ready to get in my bed and help hold her. After we had a little while with the 4 of us together, our families came in to see her.


We scheduled to have a professional photographer come to the hospital to take pictures of our family also. The program called Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep is phenominal. A lady affiliated with this program came to our room and did the pictures for us at no cost!! She took pictures for almost 2 hours! They were wonderful when we got them-- something we will cherish forever.


Before the pics, Jack and Jansen gave Jillian a bath in our room and dressed her for the photos. Let me just say how sweet it was to watch! After the pics we held Jillian, took in every feature we possibly could etch into our mind. She looked perfect to us! She did have a place on the top of her head that was not completely closed and she had 6 fingers and toes on each hand and foot but she was perfect in our eyes! She really favored Jansen when he was first born! We kept her in our room with us until about 8pm that night and decided to let her go to the nursery area where they would keep her until we went home from the hospital. We said our goodbyes just in case we decided not to see her again. This was hard, I cannot begin to explain the feelings we had at this moment. We did get some rest this night and I will never forget Jack getting in the bed with me and holding me until we went to sleep. I needed someone close to me at all times I felt like.

The next day we visited with family in the hospital room and tried to rest more. Jack and I did decide to see Jillian again by ourselves. We went to see her in a room the hospital has for families that go through these situations. We got to sit and rock her, hold her, take more pictures with her, cut some of her hair to keep, etc.... Before we realized it 2 hours had passed and we could have sat there the rest of the night. We knew we had to let her go for good this time... we said our goodbyes, again and again, and finally walked out of the room, left her laying in a bassinet wrapped in her blanket and turned out the light. This was the moment also I cannot begin to describe how we felt. It is a feeling I wish no one had to ever experience. We went back to our room and tried to rest again this night.


Sunday was the day we knew we would get to go home. This was another dreaded experience. Leaving the hospital without our baby girl. Very, very hard. We made it though. The ride home was long and quiet for the 2 of us and actually going into the house was also hard. We rested this afternoon with Jansen and had a quiet evening together.

We had made most of the arrangements for the service before Jillian was born so we wouldn't have to do it in the hospital and when we came home. Jack called the funeral home and they came to our house Monday to confirm details with us. We planned graveside services for Thursday March 11, 2010. I will also never forget this day. Family arrived at our home throughout the day, we ate before the service and the time came to leave the house for the cemetary, which actually is only 1 mile from our house. When we arrived there, I was humbled at the cars and the people that were there to honor our daughter! Our preacher did an amazing job leading the service and one of our best friends led the singing which was beautiful! Our daughter was honored and we knew at this moment that her life had left an impact on this earth and on many individuals that were so dear to us.