Happy 1st Birthday Jillian!

Jillian's 1st birthday was March 5 however it has taken me a while to get this post done. I have simply been putting it off. We have made it through the first year without her here with us. Sometime I wonder how but then I stop and think, we made it because of the love and support of our friends and family and also because of our heavenly father who gives us the strength to persevere each and everyday. We wanted to do a balloon release on Jillian's birthday to remember her. We had about 50 of our closest friends and family gather at the cemetary with us that afternoon. Our brother-in-law Daniel led some songs, including How Great is Our God, The Greatest Commands, and Jesus Loves Me. Jack prepared a few words to say, simply thanking everyone for being our support this past year and encouraging everyone to never forget our sweet girl and the impact she made here on this earth. We are forever changed because of her short but monumental life on this earth and we look forward to the day we get to be with her again!

My balloon I released

Jack and Jansen writing on Jansen's balloon

More writing

Daddy helping Jansen write on his balloon and the many friends and family gathered around.

He wrote "I love you Jillian" on one side, the other side he drew a picture all on his own.....

This just about broke this mommy's heart. My sweet boy still hurts and misses his sister so much. This was his way of letting us know he was sad. So glad he expresses his emotions to us instead of keeping it all inside. We have been open with him since we found out Jillian would not live when I was pregnant with her. We still encourage him to talk about her whenever he wants to. I would much rather that be the case than him keep it all bottled up himself.

Just a shot of a few of the people who were there to remember Jillian with us. I have many more pictures that Kristy took for us but it's just too many to put on here.

The balloons as they were released

The 3 of us with our balloons before we released them.

There they go.....I was so glad I picked hot pink. They really stood out against the sky, which was really dark and cloudy. Did I mention it was soooo cold also?!

Me and the best sister ever!

My sweet Jansen holding Jillians balloon. Kristy, who is the bereavement coordinator at the hospital where Jillian was born came to the balloon release to do pictures for us and she brought the balloon and the happy birthday hat sitting on her marker. So thoughtful of her! I picked bright orange flowers instead of pink for her birthday since they were so colorful and "happy"! I love them! We can see them from the highway when we drive by they are so bright!

After we finished with the balloon release several of our friends came back to our house to eat hamburgers and fellowship together with us as we continued to remember our sweet girl. These are the cupcakes my wonderful sister made! They turned out soooo cute!

Are these cupcakes not the cutest? Rita made these and they were cream cheese with chocolate icing and pink swirls. They tasted as yummy as they looked too!

I have the best co workers a girl could ask for. The weekend of Jillian's birthday our company had a retreat and I didn't get to go. All of the OT's sent us this amazing fruit arrangement letting us know they were thinking of us! We didn't want to eat it since it was soooo pretty, but we did! The strawberries were wonderful!

The 2 grandpas-- my dad on the left and Jack's dad on the right

Marilyn and her 2 sweet girls Brittany and Rachel

Me and Emily ( and Brooks who was looking the other way)!

All in all we had a good day. The balloon release was exactly what I envisioned. We just cannot honestly believe it has been a year since Jillian was born and went to her eternal home. As we keep saying, and as Jack mentioned at the balloon release, this is one of the last firsts we will have to endure. This year may be a little different not thinking about the first Thanksgiving, Christmas, Birthday, etc. There will still be those first days of school, etc we will experience. We have come a long way this past year and still have a long way to go. Thanks from the bottom of our hearts to our friends and family for the never ending support you have given us this past year. We serve a God who is good and we pray each and everyone of those dear to our heart will see Jillian again one day in heaven with us!