Our family of four
Sweet girl and her blankie bear
Today marks 9 months since Jillian was born and went to heaven on March 5, 2010. I really am realizing how fast time does go on, she has been gone for as long as a normal pregnancy is. I didn't get to even carry her for the 9 months since she was born at 32 weeks. She continues to live on in our hearts and our minds each and every day. Jansen will occasionally ask questions about her or mention her. Tonight happened to be one of those times. Ironically on her 9 month birthday. He asked Jack and I if we still had her with us where would she sleep? I told him our guest bedroom was going to be her room. Then he said " I mean if she was still tiny where would she sleep?" I told him then she would have slept in our room until she was big enough to be in her own room. It was definitely another conversation I wish didn't have to take place but it did. I know there will be those for the rest of our life, and that is ok because we want Jansen to remember his sister forever, just like we do. We are definitely missing her during the holiday season. We are experiencing so many of the firsts right now very close together. We just made it through Thanksgiving, my birthday, taking Jansen to see Santa, and Christmas is soon. Lots of emotions surfacing often for me as we try to go about life and make this a happy time for Jansen. He is such a caring and compassionate little boy who helps me each and everyday. Jillian, your Mommy, Daddy, and Jansen love you so very much! Thank you for blessing our life and changing each of us to live for Christ more each and everyday!
Isn't this the cutest little face???!!!!!
He looks like such a big boy with this shirt on!
Love you sweet nephew!
This is kinda random with no real story to write about except our friends, Luke and Stephanie were in town visiting from Oklahoma and we had several people over for dinner the weekend they were here and us girls had to pose for a picture. These are most of my best friends gathered together L to R: Emily, Dawn, Liz, me, Rita, Stephanie, Leanne, Marilyn. We had a wonderful time visiting with our friends who we don't get to see very often.
Every year the local hospital has a holiday tree lighting at the beginning of December. We were notified that Daniel, Rita, and the boys had bought a light on the tree in memory of Jillian. I honestly didn't know much about it but decided we would do the same. A lighting ceremony was held at the hospital and we all decided to attend. Santa was there so Jansen got to talk to him again!
The three of us in front of the tree after it was lit up, beautiful!
Me and Sis
Most of the people who were in attendance during the ceremony. A man spoke a few words and a group of guys sang a few songs before the tree lighting. A very sweet and special time to remember our little girl.
And again, Jansen with Santa. Can't have too many of these pictures!
These are the rest of the pictures I wanted to include from our evening Cookies with Santa. The above pic is all the little ones on the carpet watching the short movie before the evening was over.
Jansen colored a picture of Santa he was so proud of!
Uncle Jack making sweet Kyle laugh!
Conner, Jansen, and Andrew all in their Christmas pj's.
For the past several years our church has had a wonderful tradition of having a special time with Santa. Breakfast with Santa was done for a few years but the past 2 years we have done cookies with Santa in the evening and the kids wear their pajamas, eat cookies and milk, talk with Santa and watch a short movie. Each child also brings a wrapped gift for a child their age and we donate to needy children. Such a wonderful thing to think of and give to others. We look forward to this every year and have such a great time!
Mrs. Clause was even there with Santa
Me, Emily with Brooks, and Rita
Jansen holding Brooks, Conner holding his brother Kyle. This was the best picture we could get with all 4 of them!
Our family....Oh how we love Christmas!
So obviously the story of my blog is that posts are always going to be way late!!! I'm trying to once again play catch up and get a few posts done.
Jansen being his silly self trying to make Kyle smile for the camera!
Daniel and Conner
Emily, Andy, and Brooks
Me, Jack, Jansen, and baby Kyle...My birthday dinner was wonderful and Jack and Jansen spoiled me with some great gifts also. I got a black shelf ladder to sit in the house and put pictures on, the new Karen Kingsbury book, Unlocked, a Christmas CD, flowers, cards, and lots of love. Overall I had a great birthday! 
Our family of four
Sweet girl and her blankie bear